you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
