haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
