we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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