In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
