Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
