problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
