I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
