Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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