yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
