Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
