What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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