READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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