I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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