I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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