WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
