Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
