Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Alive.
So much puke
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
