Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
