who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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