Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
