Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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