He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
