Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
