Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
