yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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