4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
