Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
