I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
