I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
