my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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