On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
