Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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