If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
