Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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