i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
