redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
