So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
