Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
