It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
