Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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