yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
