no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
