STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
youre lurking in front of me
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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