If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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