I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
