Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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