So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
