what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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