Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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