She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you win again, gameday.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
